Thursday, November 6, 2008

Bizarro World, abductions, and other lame excuses

Well, you won't believe what happened to intrude on my plans for getting back to my fitness regime now that the election is over. My mother-in-law was kidnapped.

Yes, indeedy, she was; it was an inside job. Her rather, shall we say, "mal-adjusted" daughter, who lives in Chicago, (We'll call her "Sarah" but that's not really her name) arrived unannounced (in a stretch limo, no less) at her assisted living residence in Edgewater, NJ on election day, proclaimed that she was going to take Mom to vote (she's not even registered) and to dinner and that they would be right back. Then Sarah put her on a plane and took her back to Chicago with her.

Last night Sarah called the assisted living residence and told them that my mother-in-law was going to live with her now, and that she (Mom) wouldn't be coming back, and would they please send Mom's cat.

We found out about it yesterday morning when the home called me just as I was dipping into The New York Times and told me what had happened and that they were worried she hadn't come back, and they thought they ought to let us know. I promptly hyperventilated, told them to call the police, and then called ScottieDog at work who promptly hyperventilated, and so the whole day yesterday was an ordeal like you wouldn't believe. It took us hours to find out even where they were, with help from a network of friends all over the country.

(And needless to say I was extremely disappointed not to get to savor the election results.)

There are lots of bizarre details that I won't go into, but suffice it to say that ScottieDog's brother is on his way in a car to Chicago, where as I write Mom is sitting all by herself in Sarah's apartment, anxious, confused and sad. (Mom has moderate Alzheimer's, by the way--AND she has none of her medications.) [UPDATE: She now has some medicine because her residence staff put together some doses and we FedExed them last night. Scott phoned earlier today and confirmed that she'd received them.]

The plan is for Big Brother to get there before Sarah comes home from work, put Mom in the car, and bring her back. Ta da!!! I sure hope this works. My sister-in-law, who by the way I've never met, is a somewhat difficult person and tends toward violent behavior if thwarted.

Now we're shopping for lawyers who specialize in elder/domestic issues.

Not your average procrastination excuse, but it'll have to do.

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!!!! Omigod, the FBI and Chicago police got involved!!! They escorted Big Brother to the apartment and confronted the Big Sister, and all is well, and mom is now in the car with Big Brother and they are on their way home!!! WHEW!!!!


MizFit said...

um. WOW.
and heartbreaking.
and a huge credit to your writing skillz that I STILL LAUGHED.

Charlie Hills said...

I say "wow" too. Hope things work out for the best. This can't be easy. And on election day too! I doubly recommend the beer prescription for you.

Melissa said...

Beer....terrific idea!

And Mizfit, I know what you mean about the laugh. What can you do? It's just so bizarre!!!

I'll keep you posted.

the Bag Lady said...

OMG! I hope everything works out well!

Sounds like something out of a TV program!

Melissa said...

Thanks to all!!!!

solarity said...

I'm so glad the worst is over (let's hope). It takes a lot to upstage the election, but this would do it!

Mary Anne in Kentucky

JavaChick said...

Okay; wow! That's quite the story. What exactly was SIL thinking? Hope everything works out okay.

the Bag Lady said...

Just came back and saw the update - thank heavens everything is okay now!

Sbanfnyc said...

Everybody needs to know that Mom's rescue was executed by my Big Bro Mark and Melissa Sr. did all the logistics. What a great team! My sister did not get arrested cause the Federal Procecuters don't like trying "family" cases.